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The Published-Land is So Far Away

January 6, 2012

Think about writing.

Think about writing….

Still thinking about writing….

Hear inspirational things about doing what you love to do and willfully making yourself do it.

Mental jabs at self for not writing.

Trying to convince myself I haven’t abandoned my fictional Blog of Rog as I try to decide what direction to take it, whether or not I want to revamp the outlook, and what I want to do to make it fresh again.

But here’s where I’m getting hung up right now: I know the first stuff you write to completion doesn’t normally get finalized, published, etc. I want to skip past all that and be able to write something awesome the first time without the grunt-work. Make it look easy, yanno? So I’ve been doing what I’ve done before to my bank account. I’ve avoided it. (I don’t avoid my bank account anymore; I check it at least once a day) I avoided all writing sites, blogs, and other such “kick your ass in gear” things because I know I’ve slacked off on it. So I don’t want to look at it  and be reminded that I’m procrastinating and not getting anything done. Swirling around ideas in your head is important, but they don’t get as fleshed out if the work isn’t put in.

I need to start on something. I need to start a story, see it through to the end, and then go through the refining process; not pressure myself about whether it makes it to the publishable phase or not. I need to get my skills sharpened up.

Here’s the other reason I need to do this. When I’ve been away from writing for too long, I get into a slight funk. Not about everything, but it definitely starts dragging me down.  I know it would make me happy, I know it’s therapeutic, I know it’s good for me, and of course I come up with excuses for not doing it. Most of which are lame like, “I’m tired” or “I’d write but I’m busy watching something.” Don’t get me wrong. I love sleep. Probably more than is natural… But it’s still no excuse for not doing something fun and creative.

I’m still trying to define myself. I’m still in this “in-between” phase where my only goals right now are to try and get to a financial safe-zone while still being able to pay some of my debt away and be able to go out and do something fun a few times a month.

I’ve never really been one for New Year’s Resolutions. But something I need to do for myself this year is to start on a project and work through its obstacles. I want it to be good, I want people to enjoy it, but I also need to allow myself to take some hits on it as well. To put something out there, have people reject it, point out its flaws, and possibly have it never reach the Promised Published-Land, but be a better writer for it. This year, I need to have a learning-project.

  • No NaNo-style craziness
  • Outline is going to be a must
  • No quitting

I’d been thinking about using my “new monster” story, but I feel like I want that one to wait until I’ve got my chops grown in a bit better. That little girl is going places and deserves her story to be done right. I think I’ll start out my idea via some form of flash fiction and go from there.

  • Flash Fiction to see what story I want to write
  • Outline to help figure out where I want the story to go
  • Actually writing and modifying the outline as the story evolves (without letting the story get away from me)

The holidays are over, life’s starting to settle back down (with the exception of a dispute scheduled to be taken care of on Tuesday), and I can start getting things into some kind of order. Gotta stop with the messiness in my apartment and keep it that way. Good habits/routines can help get things done. I still hesitate to call it a “New Year’s Resolution,” those are so easily broken. “My Empty Checkbox” that needs to be filled by the end of the year is to see a writing project through some form of completion (and to keep my world a more tidy place).

Good night!
~P

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2 Comments
  1. Glad we’re not alone 🙂

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